The importance of setting boundaries for your toddler

Thinking about starting to discipline your toddler is overwhelming , especially if it is your first child, both of you are basically unsure of what is supposed to happen now haha.

Firstly you need to figure out what you are comfortable with, and what you believe is “discipline”, with that being said, don’t lend your ear easily to mom groups out there with millions of opinions, all which are , well , not yours. They don’t know your home, your family or your parenting style. Once you have decided how you are going to set boundaries for your toddler, you need to grow a thicker skin overnight lol. Setting boundaries is not only necessary for your household, but your toddler needs it, needs to learn what is acceptable and what not, when things get difficult (and they will) you need to remind yourself that you are trying to raise a well rounded human being who, with the right skills, and go out and conquer the world.

I strongly believe that toddler were put on this earth to test us, and push our limits as far as possible and then some more. The most challenging part is knowing when to take a minute and comfort them and when to draw the line. A lot of the time, the crying spell is due to them being upset, and not knowing how to process their emotions, our role as parents are to help them and teach them to calm themselves down without getting what they want. Distraction usually works the best, or to simply let them cry it out until they realize it is not happening lol, it all depends on your child’s threshold and how much they can take before you reach the point of no return (which usually involves hysterical crying).

As with every stage of parenting; it all just makes you stronger and teaches you something new. One way or another we will get them and ourselves through this lol . If one of you found a foolproof way of disciplining your toddler let me know and we can swap war stories!

Adulthood VS Parenthood

By now we all know that growing up is a trap and you should avoid it at all costs !

Adulthood is so much more difficult than any of us ever thought, your parents always tell you that you need to enjoy being little , enjoy school because working is horrible, enjoy not having to cook or having to pay bills, yet all we see is the illusion of “freedom” that adulthood supposedly brings. When in reality, the sad truth is that you cant always do what you want, and you actually had much more freedom when you were in school, freedom from worries, anxiety, financial troubles, marriage issues, stress, self doubt and the list goes on and on. Not to say that life as a teenager is this day and age is always easy, but it sure beats being in your late 20’s.

This all seems like child play the moment you have your first child, and keeps upping itself with each child after that. Being responsible for someone else’s life is so intense , and the responsibility to raise a somewhat decent human being in this world is a huge challenge, once you start thinking about all of this it feels like you cant breathe and you have no idea how you will handle it all, yet you just do. You have no excuses when you have a child, no “day off” when you need time to yourself or you need a break, you learn to power through with a smile on your face like nothing is wrong. Because thats what you do when you are a parent.

To me, thats the difference between adulthood and parenthood, I cant speak for anyone else, but I changed so much when I became a mother, I never really felt “grown up” until I met this tiny little human that changed literally everything in my life (not saying that not having children is in any way a bad thing, or the wrong a choice or a choice at all, I am simply sharing my own experience).

Parenting is both the most rewarding and the most terrifying thing I have ever done, and I would do it all over again if it means I get to have this amazing little human in my life ❤️

Being confident as a mother

I cant be the only mom whose heart breaks a little when her toddler runs away from her to grab onto dad or granny’s leg instead.

I have always been a bit critical of myself, but somehow becoming a mother has made me put even more pressure on myself. We are all human at the end of the day, and I strongly believe that if you had any underlying issues with yourself or with other relationships before you became a parent, motherhood is sure to magnify those issues and turn them into full blown shortcomings.

Motherhood is also a time to addressing these issues for once and all, and really work through them. Most of the time , just acknowledging an issue is enough for it to disappear , and other times it takes a bit more work, but it is ALWAYS worth it. For me the issue was not being a good mother , and not being enough for my children (Although I do know that this is a fear for most moms, it was a bit more than that for me).

So much so that I never took a moment for myself because I felt guilty for putting myself first (even though thats not true , and taking a moment is not putting yourself first really, its just human), I put these ridiculous expectations on myself as a mother that no one would ever live up to. It took me quite some time and a lot of effort on my part to let go of this, and to just be who I am, warts and all.

At the end of the day , we all feel like everyone else is silently giving out scores on our parenting, while we are our own worst critics.

Once you realize that it only matters what your child thinks (with the exception of teenage years) and nothing else. Let “them” think what they want ! You are happy right!? That is the only thing that matters ! Do it your way !

The importance of playing with your toddler

I get so much joy out of spending time with my daughter these days, I just absolutely love this age , having a little toddler running around is so daunting some days, and just so so overwhelmingly cute the rest of the time.

She demands so much attention from me , that I rarely get to anything else in the house haha, she only plays with her toys if I sit down with her, she wants to sit on my lap or have me pick her up all the time. Even thinking about my days make me tired haha.

Some days I honestly get frustrated and short tempered with her, until I sit down and think of everything from her point of view; she has mastered so many skills lately and learned so many new ways to show me what she wants, yet no one really understands her, she wants to say so much and do so much but she just cant yet, and I can see the frustration on her face sometimes (hence the new tantrums we have been experiencing).

Every little thing that does not go her way upsets her so much that it takes about half an hour for her to calm down, then she finally has fun, chases our dog and then BAM !!! She tuns into the piano , and the tears start all over again. Sometimes it feels like you just can’t win and I think she feels exactly the same way.

Thats why it is so important to pick her up when she comes running to me for the millionth time a day, she needs me to tell her that it is all okay, that she can be however she needs to be and I will still love her at the end of the day, no matter what. We as parents are their safe place, coming from a background where it feels like I do not have that, it is very important for me that my children know they can always come “home” that I will always accept them 100% and will always put them first.

On a lighter note; on these days when I don’t feel like playing and she is being extremely difficult, playing with her on the floor is actually the one thing that takes my mind off of everything and make us both relax. There is just something about stacking blocks that puts the whole world into perspective.

Spending quality time with your toddler is not only important for them, but also for us ❤️

Does it get easier as they get older ?

A few months back, when my baby was about 8 months old; she started teething, I honestly thought this is it, it cant get any worse than this, she wasn’t sleeping, she had no appetite and she was extremely moody.

Fast forward to the present where she is 14 months old, and I wish it was as “difficult” as it was then haha. I think it has the same affect as the “I wish I was as fat as I thought I was in high school” bit . My baby has this thing where she will cut 4 teeth in about 3 weeks of utter hell, then she takes a few months break of no teething. Then ….. dum dum dum , cuts two molars and two lateral incisors at the same time !! Send help !

She is getting so sick, she is so sore at night and barely sleeps, wakes up crying several times and basically is just miserable all the time. It makes you feel so helpless , it feels like nothing helps, nothing eases her or makes her more comfortable (trust me, I have done everything and still do just incase it helps a little bit), it is as if the further along we get with this teething business, the worse it gets ! 🙈

Beating yourself up because your child got sick again for the 7th time in a few months seems to also be a new state of normal, we live 70km’s from the nearest town, she stays home with me , and yet, she still gets sick ! So for those moms that say their children get sick from daycare, trust me, they would still get sick if they weren’t in daycare.

No guts no glory I say, having children can be so intense and challenging but so rewarding and worth it at the same time, confusing right ? Welcome to motherhood !