By now we all know that growing up is a trap and you should avoid it at all costs !
Adulthood is so much more difficult than any of us ever thought, your parents always tell you that you need to enjoy being little , enjoy school because working is horrible, enjoy not having to cook or having to pay bills, yet all we see is the illusion of “freedom” that adulthood supposedly brings. When in reality, the sad truth is that you cant always do what you want, and you actually had much more freedom when you were in school, freedom from worries, anxiety, financial troubles, marriage issues, stress, self doubt and the list goes on and on. Not to say that life as a teenager is this day and age is always easy, but it sure beats being in your late 20’s.
This all seems like child play the moment you have your first child, and keeps upping itself with each child after that. Being responsible for someone else’s life is so intense , and the responsibility to raise a somewhat decent human being in this world is a huge challenge, once you start thinking about all of this it feels like you cant breathe and you have no idea how you will handle it all, yet you just do. You have no excuses when you have a child, no “day off” when you need time to yourself or you need a break, you learn to power through with a smile on your face like nothing is wrong. Because thats what you do when you are a parent.
To me, thats the difference between adulthood and parenthood, I cant speak for anyone else, but I changed so much when I became a mother, I never really felt “grown up” until I met this tiny little human that changed literally everything in my life (not saying that not having children is in any way a bad thing, or the wrong a choice or a choice at all, I am simply sharing my own experience).
Parenting is both the most rewarding and the most terrifying thing I have ever done, and I would do it all over again if it means I get to have this amazing little human in my life ❤️
I cant be the only mom whose heart breaks a little when her toddler runs away from her to grab onto dad or granny’s leg instead.
I have always been a bit critical of myself, but somehow becoming a mother has made me put even more pressure on myself. We are all human at the end of the day, and I strongly believe that if you had any underlying issues with yourself or with other relationships before you became a parent, motherhood is sure to magnify those issues and turn them into full blown shortcomings.
Motherhood is also a time to addressing these issues for once and all, and really work through them. Most of the time , just acknowledging an issue is enough for it to disappear , and other times it takes a bit more work, but it is ALWAYS worth it. For me the issue was not being a good mother , and not being enough for my children (Although I do know that this is a fear for most moms, it was a bit more than that for me).
So much so that I never took a moment for myself because I felt guilty for putting myself first (even though thats not true , and taking a moment is not putting yourself first really, its just human), I put these ridiculous expectations on myself as a mother that no one would ever live up to. It took me quite some time and a lot of effort on my part to let go of this, and to just be who I am, warts and all.
At the end of the day , we all feel like everyone else is silently giving out scores on our parenting, while we are our own worst critics.
Once you realize that it only matters what your child thinks (with the exception of teenage years) and nothing else. Let “them” think what they want ! You are happy right!? That is the only thing that matters ! Do it your way !
Having a second baby should be easy right ? You know what to expect, you know what to do, and you have now found your feet as a mom, so it should all just be a breeze. Uh ?! …. No!!
The one thing that does seem to be easier is the waiting, I am so busy with my toddler that I don’t really think about the new baby and what it will be like all the time, its almost as if I have not really come to terms with it all haha, every now and then it hits me and this wave of excitement hits me.
But that is about the only thing that is easier so far; somehow I can’t imagine my life with two kids, I am already so so busy with her that I can’t even imagine how busy I would be with her and a newborn. I think it is the whole thing that you can’t imagine the change, how different your life will look, all you know is that it will look different. I think we are all creatures of habit, which means that we want to know what to expect, what is coming next.
But thats just it isn’t it? Life is unexpected, you can’t plan for every little thing because that would just make life way too easy haha. learning to let go and let God, has been life changing, realizing that we are all fragile and we cannot control every aspect of life or of motherhood is somehow freeing . Freeing to allow you to life your life without worrying about every “what if” that comes along.
Motherhood is magical, it pushes your limits and breaks down all your fears and expectations, and instead, replaces it with an unexplainable amount of irrational love. And lets face it, none of us would change a damn thing 👌🏻
It makes you a different kind of strong, so I say bring it on !
It is so secret that parenting is hard some days, grueling other days and just plain impossible sometimes. In-between these are those moments you wish you had on camera; when your baby finally claps hands, or says mama, gives you a kiss or is just too cute for words.
These are the moments that make every little thing you go through, worth it! Worth all the stretch marks and the sleepless nights, the relentless visits to the bathroom at night, the whole freaken pregnancy and the lack of any me time haha. All just worth it when that little person does something for the first time. My little girl (now 14 months old) is starting to become a little human; she now gives me clothes to put on and she takes more interest in every day chores, whenever she does one of these things I get so proud that my heart wants to burst !
Nothing has ever made me more proud in my entire life, and every mom feels like this haha, and she hasn’t even started het life yet, she hasn’t even started school or gotten her first school report or any big event, but I guess thats what being a parent is – any little moment is a moment for us and just as big as any other.
As with most things in life, you need the bad moments to fully appreciate the good ones, you need to have a sick child to really know what it is worth to have a healthy child , and to know how blessed you are, and you need to have a child that misbehaves to appreciate the days where they nap when they are supposed to and don’t throw any tantrums.
Just look back on your child’s last year, do you really remember every bad night? Or how difficult those first few weeks at home were? Or do you just remember holding that little body in your arms for the first time ? Thats parenting, you only remember the good ❤️
A few months back, when my baby was about 8 months old; she started teething, I honestly thought this is it, it cant get any worse than this, she wasn’t sleeping, she had no appetite and she was extremely moody.
Fast forward to the present where she is 14 months old, and I wish it was as “difficult” as it was then haha. I think it has the same affect as the “I wish I was as fat as I thought I was in high school” bit . My baby has this thing where she will cut 4 teeth in about 3 weeks of utter hell, then she takes a few months break of no teething. Then ….. dum dum dum , cuts two molars and two lateral incisors at the same time !! Send help !
She is getting so sick, she is so sore at night and barely sleeps, wakes up crying several times and basically is just miserable all the time. It makes you feel so helpless , it feels like nothing helps, nothing eases her or makes her more comfortable (trust me, I have done everything and still do just incase it helps a little bit), it is as if the further along we get with this teething business, the worse it gets ! 🙈
Beating yourself up because your child got sick again for the 7th time in a few months seems to also be a new state of normal, we live 70km’s from the nearest town, she stays home with me , and yet, she still gets sick ! So for those moms that say their children get sick from daycare, trust me, they would still get sick if they weren’t in daycare.
No guts no glory I say, having children can be so intense and challenging but so rewarding and worth it at the same time, confusing right ? Welcome to motherhood !