He who must not be named!?

I want to talk about baby blues.

People have ten thousand things to say to you and warn you about when you are pregnant , but yet , no one once mentioned baby blues , or the surge of crazy hormones that you will experience after birth !?

i had a c section ( will share my experience in another post) and on day 3 at home i was sitting with Paige and my mother in law walked in , and i just started crying uncontrollably 🙈 for no reason !

This continued for about 2 months , i felt anxious, moody , emotional and just not happy ! I was confused , because this was supposed to be the happiest time in my life , i mean we couldn’t wait to meet her , and here she is , and yet i could get myself to just relax and enjoy the moment !

I have my honours degree in psychology , so i knew something was up , i contacted my doctor and got anti anxiety meds and things got a whole lot better from there .

The issue i have with this is that in my circle people tend to be very against these types of feelings and meds , they don’t acknowledge these feelings as something real or something to take seriously.

My husband was very against me getting these pills , and thought that it would just pass even though i told him im not coping .

His reaction towards needing help and wanting help , made me feel ashamed for having this problem , but is tuck by it and got help and did muuuch better ! My husband also came around eventually and saw that the pills are working .

Im sharing this experience with you guys , because i feel that in our society baby blues are not mentioned , and not seen as real .

So for those moms out there feeling like they are not coping and need some help , go get it !! Don’t let anyone tell you that what you are feeling is not real ❤️

Hang in there


Freedom | Alone At Long Last

So yesterday I left my baby with my mother in law and my husband , and went to town to do my nails and get a few things for the house all by myself for the very first time.

All I can say is WOW ! Although it was quite sad and made me nervous to leave her , it did me the world of good to be by-myself a little bit .

I realized that it really is a necessity to take a break , we live in a rural area and babysitting (unless it is in laws) is not an option , although I am very blessed to be able to look after my baby myself , it does get to me to not do anything else and to not see other adults .

I had a nice few hours in town , and when I came back I could handle her teething and everything else , and it made me so jealous of other moms that get to work , even half day , I do go into the lodge everyday , but I take her with , and only spend about an hour there before she lets me know its time to leave 🙈

Thats why I think these little breaks are so important – absence makes the heart grow fonder , just a little reboot so to speak , just so you can appreciate everything again !

Heres to many more little breaks 🎉


You Are Spoiling Your Baby

So I am sure I am not the only one who has a grandmother in law that yells “you are spoiling her” whenever she sees my husband pushing Paige in the pram to sleep …. 🤣

In all honesty though this makes me so mad , for so many reasons; first , at this stage I will do WHATEVER it takes to get her to sleep, whether that means I must stand on my head humming a lullaby , so be it !

Second of all , I don’t believe that I can shower my baby with too much of anything quite frankly , she is only starting to see all the colors now , I mean , she does not understand why I am leaving her when she cries or why I don’t want to console her . Just thinking about this breaks my heart .

I will most probably be the strict parent between me and my husband , but at the appropriate age where she can learn right from wrong and understand consequences.

I honestly think this “spoiling ” thing is from the older generation , they all say and do it ….

At the end of the day , I would just prefer people disagreeing with my parenting in private , to their friends and husbands behind my back, like normal people 🤣

Cause quite frankly , its none of your business !


Sleep is for the weak

I love sleep, before I was pregnant i would sleep in till about 10 am on weekends easily ! 

Obviously that has changed since my baby girl was born .. her name is Paige by the way.

She sleeps well enough at night compared to other stories I have heard, and my husband really does help a lot, yet I am still tired, like all the time, why is that ?

She takes cat naps during the day , for like 10 mins, 15 if we are having a good day , and at night about 5-6 hours the first stretch before drinking her milk. Now , when i tell this to people they go “at least she sleeps at night” – which is so true I know , but hold on a second…. shes 3 months old, which means she cant do much by herself just yet and needs constant stimulation, so that means that I hardly ever get time to do anything around the house or for myself or work wise ( I manage a lodge). 

Its exhausting, you tend to forget about yourself in the process because you have this tiny human to look after and to “entertain” between cat naps.

I sometimes glance at myself in the mirror as i walk passed and realize that i haven’t even brushed my hair or teeth for that matter.

Even as I am typing this I am doing so one handed and rocking her pram with the other hand , just hoping that she will maybe have a nap so that i can correct all my spelling mistakes in here 😛 

There we go , she’s asleep ! yay 😛 

Where were we, oh yes ! see, the lack of sleep even makes me forgetful and makes it hard to concentrate on anything , there is only so much coffee you cant drink (trust me I have tried) 

I am so glad i started this blog, I would recommend it for any mother who loves writing and reading, even if no one reads it, its an outlet, a diary of sorts, a place to plot down your feelings and thoughts and frustrations without being judged and scolded for it by your family or friends (I sometimes even feel like my dog is judging me for the things I think and feel sometime) .

If any of you are reading this and have ever felt the same way .. give me a shout ! 

ps. pic of my baby girl just to show how worth it this all is img_3622


Home is Where the Heart is ..

In my first post i gave a little background on myself and where we live , for those of you who missed it – i live in a rural village called Ganyesa in North West South Africa. 🇿🇦

We are about an hour and a half from the Botswana border and about 5 hours from Johannesburg, our closest town is Vryburg , about 70 kms away .

This town however has been overtaken by crime in the last year , which is really getting to me , Paige and I cant quickly go to town to get something or just go do some retail therapy , because its just too unsafe for us to go 🙈

Not being able to have a coffee with a friend or get out the house with Paige a little bit is what has really been getting me down , feel like im having cabin fever 🤒🤣

This has been a huge adjustment, and some days I still struggle to live here in the middle of nowhere. But it sure does have a lot of positives !

I get to see such a beautiful side of our Country – The Kalahari , and I get to stay home with my little one and see her grow up !

Are any of you in a new town or a new area ? Or even a remote one like me ?

Let me know ! 😜