What NOT To Do With Your Baby

So, although I cannot give you advice on exactly what to do, because I am still figuring things out myself, I can however tell you what NOT to do!

Your Home Life

Nothing in this world can prepare you for being a parent, I don’t care what anyone says, helping a sibling or a family member with their baby will maybe make you used to the idea of a baby and give you some helpful tips even, but in no way will it give you a taste of what it feels like when that little bundle is yours.

No book in the world will explain to you how YOUR baby is feeling and why, yes, it has been put together by experts, but it is the general rule, and not always specific to your baby, I have read so many things and then I think “what? Why is my baby not doing this?” – This is the biggest downfall for new parents, books tell you when what milestone should be reached and how much your baby should be eating, and most of the times this is right, but sometimes it just is not, and this immediately sends us into a state of panic.
Listening to how other people raise their children is also a “no no” , how people raise their children reflects their personalities, their home life and their values, therefore, doing what you see from other people will most probably not work for you, because, well, you are different, you are an individual and your personality and values might not be the same.

And Finally, the most important one; do not, I repeat, do not compare yourself to other moms, this will most certainly drive you insane, and it most certainly has for me, the problem when looking at other moms is you see what they call the “highlight real”, you come over for dinner, and the whole family is on their best behavior, because let’s face it, that’s what we all do. What you don’t see, is that they also fight over who must do the dishes, the mom also locks herself in a closet to cry (a bit extreme but it happens) and the dad is not always the perfect husband you see at dinner.

Some people are just more open about their struggles, to me, these are the best kind of people, they make you feel like you are not alone, like you are not as crazy as you though, and not always overreacting as per your husband’s opinion.
Find these people and stick to them like glue, they are the mom friends that you want by your side on days that you feel you cannot cope, or you just had enough.

Google is the Enemy

Wow, where do we even start on this one?

If you haven’t yet googled “How to get my baby to sleep” stop reading because this post is not for you; the results on this is so confusing and contradicting that it would leave even the most confident mom second guessing herself.

Sleep deprivation is torture, it affects every aspect of your life, it’s just intense!
Google is helpful in the sense that you can find information online at any time of the day or night, there are thousands of “how to” videos, and I myself have watched a few videos on swaddling and latching that were quite helpful.

But overall, you see information and tips that just do not work for your baby, and then you are left overwhelmed once again, with no way out.

Motherly instinct is the best go to you can get, become confident mom! And trust your gut, 9 out of 10 times it is right, the other time your baby was most likely just not feeling well or just having an off day – which happens, if you think about it, your baby is also an individual, and just like we have off days, they do too, they just can tell you how they are feeling.

Most days you end up just winging it!

Fed is Best

This is such a sensitive topic, and I am almost scared to write about it, but here goes!
I personally tried to breastfeed, and did for 7 weeks, unfortunately due to circumstances, my supply dried up after trying everything under the sun, there could be a million reasons for why what when and where, but that’s just what happened, and I ended up giving my little girl formula.

This was so intense for me, as it felt like I failed her and that I am not doing what is best for my baby, but at the end of the day, do what is best for you, there are so many moms out there that will tell you that you are a bad mother for choosing to formula feed.
Don’t you dare listen to them, we place enough pressure on ourselves to be perfect mothers, we do not need added stress to any situation, it is your life, and you do what is best and what suits you guys better. You are still a good mother!

We need to stop mom shaming each other, what I don’t understand is that these women are also moms, they were even once first-time moms, and know how hard is to adjust and to get into a routine that suits your family and your lifestyle, adding to this is not only mean, but unnecessary.

To the moms out there that are struggling with all these things, hang in there, keep doing what you are doing, and it will all get easier soon.

This too shall pass.

Angelique

Lets Have That Food Talk …

Solids , am I right !?

The internet is the devil , and so are mom groups and all parenting books out there ! 🤪

It all is just so confusing , the one site contradicts the other one , they one book says this , the other one says the EXACT opposite , the one mom says solids before 6 months , the other one says hell no ! 🤣

I am almost scared to post a question on one of these groups , because I know it will be flooded with comments and all being different , as a first time mom this is just a nightmare , and makes you even more stressed than you were before the post !

My baby girl is 4 months old now , and I am a first time mom , and the whole “follow your instincts ” thing only goes so far if its your first baby (well for me anyway)My experience so far is to make a mom friend , either a new mom just like you (which in my case helped because we had the same anxiety over the same things and you don’t feel so alone) or an experienced one who’s opinions and advice you trust

One thing I must say is that moms everywhere are so eager to help , it has been an amazing experience so far !

So whether you fed your baby for the fist time at 4 months or 6 months , or dis co sleeping, breastfed or bottle fed your baby , as long as he/she is still alive and mostly happy I would say well done ! Being a mom is hard !Angelique

Feb is Best | My Journey as First Time Mom

Breastfeeding sounded so easy to me , “It comes naturally” everyone told me , boy were they wrong !

After my baby girl was born , one of the nurses tried to show me how to do it , she told me to use nipple shields and we still didn’t come right , the next day , no one helped again , and I attempted it by myself a few times , no luck . They ended up gibing her formula the night.

They day after I was discharged , she started screaming , I knew she was hungry and I couldn’t get her to latch , luckily I had a tin of formula at home that I could use and she ate ! Thank the heavens ! 🙏🏻

After this I decided to pump, this was a nightmare !! My milk cane in luckily , but she fed every two hours, I would feed her , put her to bed , then pump for half an hour , then sleep for an hour , the repeat the whole process over again ! 🙈

After my doctor prescribed a anti anxiety medication my milk supply increased and I could at least freeze some of it , this made it a bit easier on me but still took up a lot of my time and caused so much stress.

When she was about 5 weeks old , I watched a youtube video on latching , and it was like a light that came on ! Aha ! And guess what ? I got her to latch ! Yay !

It went well for about 2 weeks , then I had to leave my medication , and overnight my milk was dried up , poof , just gone ! Luckily I had some frozen milk still left and I could put her on formula slowly .

It all worked out and she is healthy and so happy !!

I get jealous of I hear of other moms that came right so easily , and breastfeed until 2 years , my breastfeeding journey ended way too quickly.

I am sharing this experience with you guys because I know there is a lot of moms out there that feel the same way, and maybe ashamed of it as I was at first .

Do You ! As long as you and your baby are happy and healthy , what more can you ask for ? We put waaay too much pressure on ourselves to do things a certain way .

Angelique